Some more updates (Work-life)

So since my starry eyed post of a week-ago, the gloves have pretty well come off. Cities are often characterized as places that will "chew you up and spit you up." My general fear about Toronto these days is that it will nibble me to death.

What do I mean nibble? Well, it's the one interview no call back routine. Or the handing of the business card t 5 people, only to receive no email love in return. Toronto likes to pretend it wants me, but maybe so far it only wants a taste :)

For a few days there I was pretty bummed. I began reviewing my life experiences and thinking it was naive to assume that my talents and skills were enough to get me a job. Instead of what I have, I began to see only what was missing. Ie: a 'reputable' client like Google or the United Way. A year doing some kind of humanitarian work overseas. Multiple scholastic awards. A social network, (Oh my God I cannot stress enough how much I wish I was not an INFP, or whatever the hell introverted type I am).

You know the stuff that would put my head up above the million or so other heads in this busy city.

Of course, wishing for things I don't have. Letting my cv dictate the kind of career I am going t find et al. makes my success dependent on somebody else's good opinion, and kind of ignores what I may think or believe about myself.

Well, if there is one thing I have learned about myself in the last year it's that unfortunately, I have a of thinking that someone elses opinion of me is more 'real' or valid then my own.

Perhaps that is the part that is *a bit* naive, since (in theory at least), I know the most instrumental person in terms of self- motivation and self-confidence, is yours truly.

So.

As the phone stays silent and the email remains staunchly empty of requests for second interviews I realize I am going to have to get a lot better at believing in myself, or these nibbles are going to add-up and eventually I will disappear, or worse yet lose sight of the dreams and ideas that brought me here in the first place.

In other news, I have found a stand-up comedy course to sign up for. So if all else fails I am going to become a comedian. How's that for a back-up plan!