Now the dog is back on expensive allergy medication and the scratch-fest has come to an end, and the cat who also got a flea-bath for no other reason than that she was around, has a very legitimate reason to hate me.
I have watched this movie 4 times since yesterday afternoon. I want to write out what it brings to mind.
I love this movie so much that if I could package it up and send it to everyone in the world as well-intentioned junk mail I totally would.
There are well-intentioned remarks, "If you stop looking you'll find someone". "You're probably just not really looking for a relationship, because if you were, you'd find one." Designed for the chronically single. I even tell them to myself, when I come home at night and wish that there were more then just my shoes in the closet.
But those statements don't really express what I feel about "lonely". This movie comes closer to describing what I have been trying to do in a "personal growth" (gag me) way for the past, I don't even know how many years, then anything ever has.
Maybe this story started when my mom died, maybe it started when I was 16 and had my first 'real' relationship.
I thought that after I did I would have this craving to write a blog entry about her, or about the experience of putting her down, but I haven't had any such craving.
It's strange because the lead-up was so intense, so troubling, as close to a moral crisis as I've ever experienced, and maybe my hesitance is because I don't think I can do justice to all the different feelings and thoughts I had in the months leading up to the decision.
She was one of the most wonderful creatures I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, but she was also bound up with painful memories about my family, and uncomfortable memories about my behavior when I was a young adult and a teenager.
Project leader with a focus on youth and technology. Excellence in creative direction, content production, client service, and collaboration. Background in web development and interactive media.
mir (@) mirverburg.net
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