Monetize and Dominate - two words you can hate without really trying

wow. I just got an email about the all-male roster of (another) business 2.0 conference. It's not the maleness I necessarily care about, it's the hella-boring hella-offensive PR language. Not in a political correctness kinda way, in a who writes a tagline like;

"Innovate - accelerate - dominate"

...without having to put duct tape over their mouths to keep from harfing every time they read it, kinda way. The only reason I can keep my lunch down is because I haven't eaten it yet.

I can just see the makers of this jewel of corporate ass-speak now, sitting around some faux walnut table that is far to large for the number of people using it, with some open laptops that are there more for show than any function. Some little nebbishkeit is saying" Okay guys we're going to have to really get creative here what are we trying to say with our brand?" And then guy number two who wears pink ties to prove he's not afraid of his own latent homosexuality and that he's 'plugged in' says; "We're going to innovate!" and the mean shark-like one who really *only cares* about money says "Innovate is to 2006."He says (thinking of the new car he just bought and all the payments he has to make); "We're going to accelerate!" and finally, the biggest neck of them, even though they all kind of have skinny necks, the one who was on third string football and went into the tech business because he couldn't pass is LSATS says; "We're going to dominate!"

These are the people we trust to do business?? No wonder the world is fucked eh?

And monetize don't even start me with monetize. It's a bastardization of grammar, language and common sense. It makes me think of many wonderful things such as home-made candy ,trees, and people - all magically turning into fields of waving, dirty, smelly ideologically loaded but spiritually worthless cash, in the blink of an eye. That's monetizing folks, it's black black magic and you should stay far away from it.