Sexuality

Oh man, I just woke up. This is not going to be good writing. Just FYI.

I am going to try to extend the Ashley Madison bit I was doing a month ago. I'll need some help to round out my list though, so please read on.

Avid Life owners of Ashley Madison wanted to run an ad campaign on the TTC using streetcars that read, "“Life is short. Have an affair”. Sadly the TTC said no, and I could work to insert a joke about how maybe a scintillating ad or two would wake up sleepy employees, but I won't oh maybe I just did.

Anyways, fresh from that controversy, the company would like to now, take Ashley Madison public and list it on the TSE (Toronto Stock Exchange).

I would *so* love to demonstrate my faith in infidelity, by helping Ashley Madison become blue chip stock. Then again, the company doesn't need my help, adultery is no fad, it's going to be around for a long time, as long as there's marriage right?

The part that really cracks me up is when the author discusses the TSE's reluctance to list Ashley Madison for biblical reasons:

"Even Bay Street, with its well-documented zeal for any money-making idea, is struggling with the idea of backing a company premised on breaking one of the Ten Commandments."

Here are the 10 commandments and a list of the associated publicly traded industries that could perhaps anger Yahweh. I feel like my list could be longer, and there are a few commandments that I couldn't think of industries for, so if you have any suggestions leave them in comments, thanks.

1. : 'Thou shall have no other gods before Me.'

The entertainment industry

2. : 'Thou shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness
of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth
beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'

Home movies, photography etc, Kodak, Nikon etc.. Basically any authoring tools, so I guess this section would have to include both Microsoft and Apple, and maybe Facebook, Myspace, Flickr etc.. since that's where we all post our graven images on a daily basis.

3. : 'Thou shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'

Did I say entertainment industry already? Internet and self-publishing ventures.

4. 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'

Any business that is open Saturday or Sunday. Any business that offers customer support 24/7. Hydro-electric companies that produce the electricity we use to power our homes on the day of rest, those bastards.

5. 'Honor your father and your mother.'

To be honest I am not sure about this one. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

6. 'Thou shall not murder.'

The Military-industrial complex

7. 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

Ashley Madison would go nicely here

8. 'Thou shall not steal.'

Currency exchanges. Buying debt. Again, someone more familiar with the language of high finance could probably throw in a few terms here.

9. 'Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'

Traditional media, especially Fox News Network

10.' Thou shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not
covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his
female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything
that is your neighbor's.'

Again, I need help with this one, also I need to go to work, so coments once again, are welcome

goodbye and god bless, and thanks for your help.

So it's early on a Saturday morning, I have several hours to kill before breakfast plans materialize, so I finally have some time to think about that post I wanted to write a few weeks ago:

So tonight, a post about gender, appetite, weight-lifting, saying yes, and being alone. Wait for it....

Holy Shit.

So lately I've been not blogging because 140 characters suited the type of information my daily life was producing, unless that information comprised links to YouTube music videos.

Now I finally have something 'big' to write and oh the irony of that statement will soon become apparent.

I went on an internet date last night. Yee-fucking-hell-haw right? I've gone on a few of these before, they are usually okay, sometimes they are painful, on a few occasions, they have been pretty damn fun. This one was actually pretty amazing.

I just caught up with my old Blogher pal Melissa Gira's internetin', and my word she is the bomb-diddly.

Mostly for this excellent little tumbler Am I Flirting

30. If we make up a ridiculous company and keep the joke going?
29. If I throw a snowball at her?
28. If my nostrils flare

Although my favorite by miles is #25:

25. If I Write Terrible Poetry?

You are probably really rotten at writing poems. If children are being left behind in general education subjects, they’re being knocked out with sacks of doorknobs and left in junkyard tire-piles when it comes to poetry. But somewhere, deep down, the desire to use poetry for its intended purpose still stirs in even the most talentless amongst us. Its intended purpose is flirting.

Because we all share this basic understanding, don’t naively go giving poems away to gentlemen and ladies you don’t want to kiss. They will think you want to kiss them very much indeed.

In other news, according to Margaret Wente (My go to girl for controversial but not seriously annoying stance, for annoying I go to Ms. Blatchford.) or, according to health experts quoted in her column I am about 5 pounds shy of overweight? As if. This whole BMI thing seems mighty suspicious.