Personal

I was reading a post on how to write like a funny woman and realized a couple of rules used in improv comedy work really well when applied to relationships.

1. Be in a scene (a place, a time, an action).

So in terms of improv or writing this means, don't describe or overly dramatize what is happening. Just be in it.

That's probably okay right? Now that I have this empty time to fill.

I went to the gym again yesterday. This time it was really hard, and I ran much more slowly, and I stared at all the other people working out and I felt like a goof. A lonely goof who wanted someone to talk to.

So I talked to an older lady while we picked through a pile of drastically reduced cardigans at Zellars.

Then I went to my friends house to cook her dinner. Her mom just died suddenly in a car accident and I was invited over as an expert.

Only every person's experience is different. So I just made her soup and we talked, and I tried to make her laugh at least once every half hour.

Our ability to bear the weight of the people we hope to be and forgive the people we are.

To believe everything entirely, while also calling bullshit for what it is.

~ Sugar

I'm sitting waiting to skype with my friend who lives in Amsterdam, reading posts on getting through break-ups, how to make a coconut curry soup, and how to replace bathroom tiles.

I want to write about this break-up the way I am feeling it. It feels like:

I'm just gonna make this soup, fix those tiles. Oh I'm going to cry a bit now, but it's fine. It's fine.

I'm sad, but if I compare today's feelings to Monday, the day I realized that I had pinned my hopes on a relationship that was more or less broken, the end feels better then being part of something broken.

So it fine now. It's shitty and sorrowful, and lonely, but honestly, it's fine.

Okay so some observations on trying to curb my internet habit, meditate, face fears on the regular, not escape into cat videos and memes of Kim Jong Il looking at things.

It's been 10 days, and I have already learned a lot. Not about memes. I am behind on the following things that I randomly missed at various times last week.