Archive - Dec 1, 2006

Ram-rang ( I didn't make it up) the insane yoga instructor - who I kinda love, made us run with our knees up and punch the air for two minutes while she played us a mantra that she said would both bring us immense prosperity and push someone we didn't want out of our lives.

Never do that for two minutes. Unless you are already on the Boston Celtics, after that exercise Ram-rang was left with nothing but a room full of panting, stinking hippies, except for me, I am not a hippie.

Then we did frog pose for twenty-six repetitions. She said that one would improve our potency. I dunno, but it sure fucking hurt jumping up and down like a frog twenty-six times.

So my sad-sack of an ipod was returned to me from apple-hospital in record time, so fast in fact, that I suspect that the little monster basically sat in the DHL van riding around the city for three days.

This suspicion is disproved by the fact that there are no more scratches on the back of it anymore.

Anyways, I plugged it early this morn' to update my podcasts and lo and behold it crashed the itunes and itself and then proceeded to make a "grinding its pointy little metallic teeth from within noise" and promptly ceased to function encore.

So there. Apple you are on my outs list, if you don't get your act in gear I am going to start using a team of highly trained musicians who will follow me through the city and provide me with a sound track for my life in exchange for me pointing out all the moments of ironic humour in their lives. I think that sounds fair.